Transformation

I feel something is happening in me at the moment. Sounds a bit drastic, I know. It’s probably not quite as dramatic as that sounds, but I feel I’m approaching a new stage in my life. I’m fast approaching 45 years old (isn’t that how old your mum is!!??? Not yourself!!) and my youngest baby is 9. He’s at that pre-teen stage where he’s desperate to be more independent but we’re not quite there yet. Having 16 and 18 yr old siblings and mainly older friends is also assisting his advancing years. The time when I am no longer needed to be the parent I once was is very very close on the horizon, and quite frankly, that terrifies me!

For 18 years my children have been my number 1 priority. Especially the last 9 years where I have had one or all of them at home with me. My eldest is still going through some intense anxiety issues (the main reason she was home educated) but is slowly moving forward with helping herself come through the other side. My middle one starts college in September so is moving up to bigger and better things. And my youngest, as I say, is becoming more independent day by day.

So now I turn to myself. What do I need (or want) to do? I haven’t worked out of the home for 9yrs and so I’m unsure what (if anything) to return to. I have my etsy shop which I love and I hope to keep on working on it, but do I want that to be my sole income? I love writing and spend a lot of my life doing it in one form or another. Sometimes for money, sometimes for pleasure – but again, would I be happy just working by myself in my little workshop/cabin/yoga/art studio all day every day without seeing another human being? I very much doubt it.

I’m quite an introvert, but I also need some people around me at times throughout the week and so I really feel I will need to return to the workplace at some point. Probably within the next five years. So now is the time to do things to work towards that time. So I’m ready physically and mentally.

I’ve been doing quite a lot of yoga and meditation recently to help clear my head so I can think clearly as to where I want my path to go. This is work in progress so watch this space to see where it takes me.

Anyone else feeling a life shift at the moment?